From Frank Sinatra to Ernest Hemingway to Homer Simpson, there is something for everyone. We’ve gathered a list of the most famous Short Alcohol Quotes ( quotes about alcohol, alcoholism quotes, drinking alcohol quotes, funny alcohol quotes, Alcohol Quotes ) for your enjoyment. Cheers! If you drink, be a responsible drinker. Drink responsibly if you are drinking alone. If you drink in a group, be sure you’re surrounded by trustworthy individuals. Don’t rely on alcohol to find happiness or tranquilly. The most essential thing to remember is to never drink and drive. People, please be safe.
So we’ve tried to gather the most logical Short Alcohol Quotes and Sayings, so keep reading:
Short Alcohol Quotes
1. “I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.”― Tom Waits
2. “What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fu@k and smoke plenty of cigarettes.”― Charles Bukowski
3. “Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”― Alex Levine
4. “To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems”― Matt Groening
5. “I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.”― Darynda Jones
Short Alcohol Quotes
6. “One more drink and I’ll be under the host.”― Mae West
7. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”― Louis Pasteur
8. “it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance”― William Shakespeare
9. “Ignorance is a lot like alcohol: the more you have of it, the less you are able to see its effect on you.”― Jay Bylsma
Read Also:
- 200+ Depression and Anxiety quotes to Help Relax Your Mind
- 100+ Many many happy returns of the day! Happy Birthday!
10. “The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.”― James Joyce
11. “99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.”― Quentin R. Bufogle
12. “Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples.”― Warren Ellis
13. “Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.”― Criss Jami
14. “Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.”― Patrick Rothfuss
Short Alcohol Quotes
15. “There was nothing glorious about the life of a drinker or the life of a writer.”― Charles Bukowski
16. “All worries are less with wine.”― Amit Kalantri
17. “Love is alcohol.”― Katherine Applegate
18. “Civilization begins with distillation”― William Faulkner
19. “Think champagne, drink champagne!”― Ellen Dean
20. “Alcohol is some people’s pillar of weakness.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
21. “Alcohol is the worst thing to mix with anger.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Drinking alcohol quotes
Short Alcohol Quotes
22. “First the man takes the drink, then the drink takes the man.”― Irish proverb
23. “Alcohol is man’s universal translator.”― Anthony T. Hincks
24. “Smoke less, drink more.”― A.D. Aliwat
Short Alcohol Quotes
25. “It is sad that people need alcohol to make them happy.”― Habeeb Akande
26. “I drank whiskey because I was depressed, and whiskey made sure I stayed depressed.”― Donald Hall
27. “Nothing makes you promise more than the steady supply of alcohol.”― Anthony T. Hincks
28. “Two great European narcotics, Alcohol and Christianity, I know which one I prefer.”― Mike Skinner
Short Alcohol Quotes
29. “Exercise makes you look better naked. So does Tequila. Your choice.”― Charles Bukowski
30. “An empty glass with always hold air.”― Anthony T. Hincks
31. “I don’t like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.”― Chelsea Handler
32. “When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.”― C.S. Forester
Short Alcohol Quotes
33. “Drinking wine is like using magic: there’s always a price to pay.”― Neel Burton
34. “Religion is a non-alcoholic man’s alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man’s religion.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
35. “Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.”― Robert A. Heinlein
36. “The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.”― Craig Ferguson
Read Also:
- 200+ Best Good Evening Wishes, Messages, Quotes in English
- 100+ Beautiful Good Morning Blessings Images Wishes
- 100+ Beautiful Good Morning Dear Images Wishes & Greetings
Drinking quotes
37. “Mixing old wine with new wine is stupidity, but mixing old wisdom with new wisdom is maturity.”― Amit Kalantri
38. “What sort of place lets you drive and vote and fu@k before it lets you drink a beer?” ~Mark Cooper”
39. “In alcohol’s defense, I’ve done some equally stupid things while completely sober”― Alice Feeney
40. “The best thing is the combined effect of nicotine with alcohol, greater than the sum of the two parts.”― Sebastian Faulks
41. “Take it from me, all dependent relationships with drugs and alcohol end in divorce or death.”― D.C. Hyden
Alcoholism quotes
42. “Drunkards have a problem, not with sobriety, but with reality.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
43. “I accept no responsibility for anything I did while drunk.”― Steven Magee
44. “Caution: Drinking is not good for the phone and Twitter.”
45. “Most cultures made beer before they had an alphabet.”― Matthew Weiner
Short Alcohol Quotes
46. “Trust me. You can dance.- VODKA”― Darynda Jones
47. “This is turning into an alcohol-will-cure-everything kind of day.”― Kelly Moran
Best alcohol quotes
48. “I don’t need alcohol to see the world in its depths, I carry the sun in me. – On Being Inebriated.”― Lamine Pearlheart
49. “Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.”― Oscar Wilde
50. “There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.”― Chelsea Handler
Short Alcohol Quotes
51. “It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.”― F. Scott Fitzgerald
52. “Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”― G.K. Chesterton
53. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”― Frank Sinatra
54. “I’m not drunk, just a little stoned.”― Gerard Way
Quotes about alcohol
Short Alcohol Quotes
55. “Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.” – Carl Jung
56. “Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.” – Seneca
57. “Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!”― Warren Ellis
Alcohol quotes for everyday
58. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” – Steve Fergosi
59. “Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” – W.C. Fields
60. “24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” – H.L. Mencken
61. “In 1969, I gave up women and alcohol – it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.” – George Best
Short Alcohol Quotes
62. “Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.” – G.K. Chesterton
63. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
64. “Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” – George Bernard Shaw
65. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” – Rumi
66. “I don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.” – Tom Waits
Short Alcohol Quotes
67. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.” – Matt Groening
68. “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill
69. “Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” – Homer Simpson
70. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemmingway
Drinking alcohol quotes
71. “Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.” – Bob Marley
72. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Short Alcohol Quotes
73. “Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.” – Oscar Wilde
74. “Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.” – Finley Peter Dunne
75. “I think I need a drink. Almost everybody does only they don’t know it.” – Charles Bukowski
76. “One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.” – Lady Astor
77. “If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.” – Jack Handy
78. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin
79. “As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.” Robin Williams
Short Alcohol Quotes
80. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart
81. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman
82. “I envy people who drink, at least they know what to blame everything on.” – Oscar Levant
83. “What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!” – George Gordon
Alcohol quotes bad
84. “Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.” – Patrick Rothfuss
85. “Other people’s films are like a cocktail, a little alcohol with water and juice. My films are like pure vodka.” – Jiang Wen
Short Alcohol Quotes
86. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” – Bette Davis
87. “The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for my enemies.” – William Temple
Motivational drinking quotes
88. “I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.” – Charles Bukowski
89. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” – Louis Pasteur
Short Alcohol Quotes
90. “I work until beer o’clock.”—Stephen King
91. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.” ―Rumi
92. “I drink to make other people more interesting.”—Ernest Hemingway
93. “I exercise self-control and never touch a beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.”—W. C. Fields
94. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.”—F. Scott Fitzgerald
Short Alcohol Quotes
95. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” — Pope John XXIII
96. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”—Steve Martin
97. “A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.” – Charlie Chaplin
Hilarious Quotes about Alcohol
98. “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”—Dean Martin
99. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.”—Louis Pasteur
100. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.”—Frank Sinatra
Short Alcohol Quotes
101. “If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.”—David Daye
102. “Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient Champagne.”—Dorothy Parker
103. “Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone?” —Noel
104. “Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL” — Unknown
105. “Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.”—Compton Mackenzie
106. “I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” – Joe E. Ellis
Short Alcohol Quotes
107. “Not to get technical, But according to chemistry ALCOHOL is a solution.” — Unknown
108. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” —Henny Youngman
Classy drinking quotes
109. “If girls always treated each other like we do when we’re drunk in the girl’s bathroom, the world would be a happier place.” —Anonymous
Short Alcohol Quotes
110. “I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served.” ― George Gobel
111. “Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can’t be beat.”—Dizzy Dean
112. “Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.” — Unknown
113. ”I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.”—Ava Gardner
114. “I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers.” — Unknown
Funny alcohol quotes
115. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”- Joan Collins
Short Alcohol Quotes
116. “War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.”- William Faulkner
117. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”—Rodney Dangerfield
118. “I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not.”—Coco Chanel
119. “Trust me: You can dance — Alcohol.” — Unknown
120. “Responsible Drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.” ― Aaron Howard
Short Alcohol Quotes
121. “If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA.” — Unknown
122. “I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL.” — Unknown
123. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” —Oscar Wilde
124. “Men are like wine—some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” —Pope John XXIII
125. “People are not addicted to Alcohol or drugs, They are addicted to escaping reality.” — Unknown
Short Alcohol quotes Funny
126. “Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean: against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people.” — Unknown
127. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C Fields
128. “The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”—Phyllis Diller
129. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” —Ernest Hemingway
130. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of Champagne.”—Bette Davis
131. “I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn’t keep things bottled up.” — Unknown
132. “In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power, and in water there is bacteria.” —Anonymous
Short Alcohol Quotes
133. “Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.”—Conan O’Brien
In Reflection: The Power of Moderation in Every Sip
As we toast to the end of our journey through these concise alcohol quotes, let’s raise our glasses to more than just spirited sayings. Each phrase serves as a gentle reminder of the age-old wisdom that lies in moderation. Alcohol, when consumed responsibly, can be a joyous accompaniment to celebrations and quiet moments alike. However, the key lies in savoring every drop mindfully, understanding its effects, and respecting its potency.
In the world of beverages, it’s not about abstaining but about finding balance. Let these quotes be your compass, guiding you towards a drinking experience that’s both pleasurable and prudent. Because in every sip, there’s a story, a legacy, and a choice. May your choices always lead to memories cherished, not moments regretted.
Cheers to responsibility, to understanding, and to enjoying the finer things in life with grace and restraint. 🥂
